


i'm searching for something that i can't reach

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Ghost Sugawara Koushi, Gift Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:41:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23558542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Koushi doesn’t remember how long it has been since you left for Tokyo, but he hopes that you’re living a happy life. It is what you deserve after all, and he does think that you look the best when you’re smiling. [dw20]
Relationships: Sugawara Koushi/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	i'm searching for something that i can't reach

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Mari! <3

Koushi doesn’t remember how long he’s been lost between the world of the dead and the living, but his death is a vivid memory. He remembers panicking, suffocating as his aching arms tried to push himself out of the water to no avail. He remembers sinking further and further down as he grew fatigued and succumbed to the darkness. 

And he remembers waking up in a cemetery, not alive, but not dead either. He remembers seeing Daichi and Azumane at his grave, weeping silently as he screamed their names, trying to get their attention when he realized that they couldn’t see him. That he was invisible and that he couldn’t touch anything or feel anything.

Koushi has always been surrounded by his friends and teammates, but since his death, he has realized that this is the loneliest he’s ever felt. He had to watch his friends visit his grave less and less often until eventually, no one visited anymore. He left the cemetery and began to wander endlessly until he stopped at a house near the beach he used to visit with his parents when he was little. It was where he saw you for the first time.

He thought you were lonely. You lived alone in that house near the beach and every night you’d stand at the balcony of your bedroom, staring at the stars in melancholy. Sometimes you’d sink on the ground and cry as the waves crashed against the shore. Then, the next morning, you’d wake up and act like everything was fine when it wasn’t.

On the days where you didn’t cry, you’d sit down on the sand and get lost in your thoughts for hours. He knew it was tranquil for you, but he couldn’t help but wonder if you felt as lonely as he did. He’d sit down next to you and admire your features, and he found himself thinking that you were the most perfect woman he’d ever seen in his entire life.

He fell for you, and he fell for you _hard_. 

He thought you were beautiful and he wanted to touch you, wanted to feel the warmth of your cheeks beneath his hands. He wanted to hold you in his arms and let you cry into his shoulder. He wanted to kiss you, but he couldn’t. He can’t. He can’t do any of those things because he’s _dead_. He secretly and selfishly hoped that you wouldn’t fall in love with someone because he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle seeing you in someone else’s embrace. Of course, fate doesn’t give people what they want.

There’s a man — _Atsumu_ is his name if Koushi recalls correctly — who’s been visiting you once every week or so. He comes over with flowers and gifts that never fail to make you smile every time you open the door to let him in. He greets you with a kiss and laughs with you when you happily jump into his arms, making him nearly lose balance. He makes you moan and cry out his name for him on the nights filled with love and passion. He makes you laugh, he makes you smile, and he made you the happiest woman on earth on the day he proposed to you.

Koushi doesn’t keep track of time. He doesn’t see a point in doing so. After all, he’s a lost soul, forced to remain here by some invisible force for eternity, but he stays for all your milestones.

He was there for your dreamlike beach wedding where you were radiating pure love and adoration for Atsumu. He was there when you came home from the hospital with a baby boy who was the spitting image of you. He was there when Atsumu surprised you and your son with a Golden Retriever puppy on your son’s fourth birthday. He was there when you told Atsumu that you were pregnant with a second child, and he was there when you moved out with your family to never return to the beach house again.

Koushi doesn’t remember how long it has been since you left for Tokyo, but he hopes that you’re living a happy life. It is what you deserve after all, and he does think that you look the best when you’re smiling.


End file.
